


Spring (songfic)

by pissed_off_grape



Category: Rammstein
Genre: Angst, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Pre Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sort Of, Suffering, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:13:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23203021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pissed_off_grape/pseuds/pissed_off_grape
Summary: Till deals with a lot of pain - on the top of bridge.
Kudos: 7





	Spring (songfic)

**Author's Note:**

> I guess you can call this my interpretation of the song 'Spring' by Rammstein.  
> I originally posted this on DeviantArt in 2014.  
> Sad, angsty... No fun to read.

Hesitatingly, Till places his hands onto the barrier before hurling his feet up, adjusting himself a bit. He straightens himself up front to the edge and looks ahead.

_Auf einer Brücke ziemlich hoch  
Hält ein Mann die Arme auf_

He pants a little, like his previous task has taken his breath away. Maybe it’s the adrenaline pumping through his veins. Maybe it’s the fact that he stands on the edge of a bridge, nothing more than one step to decide whether to live or die.

_Da steht er nun und zögert noch  
Die Menschen strömen gleich zuhauf  
Auch ich lass mir das nicht entgehen  
Das will ich aus der Nähe sehen  
Ich stell mich in die erste Reihe  
und schreie_

He never thought it would be this intense to stand on the edge between life and death. For a moment, he wants to leave, but it feels like a set of hands drags him closer, making him face the river. He can hear the water tempting him. It talks to him.

_Der Mann will von der Brücke steigen  
Die Menschen fangen an zu hassen  
Bilden einen dichten Reigen  
Und wollen ihn nicht nach unten lassen_

Voices grow in his mind. They scream, high-pitched. They want him to get it over with, to leave this world with the bit of pride he has left.

_So steigt er noch mal nach oben  
Und der Mob fängt an zu toben  
Sie wollen seine Innereien  
Und schreien_

_Spring_

He shuts his eyes slowly. The words recapture his ruined state of mind, as he listens to his own breathing. His heart starts beating faster.

_Spring  
Erlöse mich  
Spring  
Enttäusch mich nicht  
Spring für mich  
Spring ins Licht  
Spring_

He feels hot tears stinging his eyes and lets out a shaky breath, as he looks up. A full moon spreads its light across the black sky and the city. The white rays flicker in the waves beneath him and make his eyes shine. The tears finally make their way down his cheeks.

_Jetzt fängt der Mann zu weinen an  
Heimlich schiebt sich eine Wolke  
Fragt sich Was hab ich getan  
Vor die Sonne es wird kalt_

Clouds slide in front of the moon, threatening to shut off the light – to cover everything in darkness. He feels cold, as a soft breeze now starts to take form.

_Ich wollte nur zur Aussicht gehen  
die Menschen laufen aus den Reihen  
und in den Abendhimmel sehen_

The voices return with reinforced strength, and this time he forms a pair of fists. He faces the river again.

_Und sie schreien_

_Spring_

The word rings in his mind.

_Spring_

He clenches his fists tighter and bites his lip.

_Erlöse mich  
Spring  
Enttäusch mich nicht  
Spring für mich  
Spring ins Licht  
Spring_

The air around him gets colder. He feels the wind shooting through his jeans and his hoodie, wrapping him in a frozen state. He once again looks up at the sky, at the moon, and realizes that it’s almost completely covered with clouds, as darkness settles heavily.

_Heimlich schiebt sich eine Wolke  
vor die Sonne es wird kalt_

An empty feeling creeps upon him, and he looks down at his feet, though not seeing much through his tearful eyesight. The tears hook off of his eyelashes and hit the framed concrete. His features don’t chance much. He stares into nothing, doesn’t know what to do.

_Doch tausend Sonnen brennen nur für dich_

He thinks of his daughters, his mother… and Rammstein. He also thinks of their fans. The thoughts are so intense that they actually make him feel dizzy. The whispering voices that haunt him are now replaced by voices that he know and love, friendly voices that have spoken so many words to him through his entire life.

He squeezes his eyes shut and hides his face in his hands, letting his fingertips drill into his scalp. He breathes out a quiet whimper which is suffocated by the air that wildly passes his ears.

_Ich schleich mich heimlich auf die Brücke  
Tret ihm von hinten in den Rücken_

A loud, powerful blow of wind surprises him directly to his back. He almost stumbles over the edge, but after balancing uncontrollably he manages to turn to his side, throwing himself down onto his knees and hands.

His eyes are wide in shock, his mouth gaping, as he stares into the concrete beneath him. His hands cling to it, and his arms and legs tremble. Panting, he hears the water rushing under the bridge, and he realizes that he just saved himself from a dreadful head-first fall into the dark river.

_Erlöse ihn von dieser Schmach  
Und schrei ihm nach_

And he stays like that, until he breaks down and sobs violently, as his entire body shakes with misery and defeat. He feels like screaming, but he can’t because his throat is dry, and the sobs that now come out are hoarse and weak. It feels like years of hidden emotions now refusing to keep accumulating in his head.

With great effort and stiff legs he gets off the concrete and down to the base of the bridge, to the safe ground. Lost and in despair, he looks around, turning on his feet a few times. He then returns to the barrier and leans against it. Some frustrated tears fall from his eyes.

_Spring_

After wiping the tears away, he feels unbelievably cold and pulls his hood over his head. He sniffles, feeling dried out and exhausted. He takes a deep breath, though it doesn’t calm him down. He can’t stop trembling.

It starts raining. Small drops hit his face, as he look up at the cloudy sky one last time and tucks his icy hands into his pockets.

Against the will of the voices in his head, he walks off with his head bent. But even though things didn’t occur the way he had planned, he feels more lifeless than ever before, psychologically absent from the world around him, even from himself. His mind is somewhere else.

His soul lies in the dark waves beneath the bridge, where he could be safe from the pain and suffering.

_Spring  
Erlöse dich  
Spring  
Enttäusch mich nicht  
Spring für mich  
Spring  
Enttäusch mich nicht_


End file.
